It’s The Little Things

As mothers, we really dont get a whole lot of “me” time to try new things or do a little something to lift our mood. There’s normally always a kid needing our attention, house work that needs done, appointments that need made, meals that need prepped… days just dont have enough time.

Today though, I made time to try something new! Now this new thing may not seem like much to you, but it’s something I’ve wanted to try for a long time but always felt I’d look goofy with them… There’s no way they could look as good on me as they do on everyone else.

I finally tried it guys! I treated myself to a set of magnetic eyelashes! And they don’t look nearly as ridiculous on me as I thought they would.

After days of cleaning, children climbing all over me, a sick toddler, and errands to run I really needed a pick me up. I needed something to make me feel “pretty”. I know we are all beautiful and amazing but some days you just kneed that little extra, right?

I think it’s so incredibly important for us moms to take some time for ourselves, even if its something as small as trying fake eyelashes for the first time or trying a new face mask. These small things that didnt seem all that special before kids are now some of the best ways to turn our days around.

Even if what you want to do for yourself doesnt seem that huge, do it! Dont allow yourself to talk you out of it or make it seem unimportant. You deserve these small things that bring you joy. You spend your whole day taking care of everyone elses needs, remember that your needs are important and that its ok to spoil yourself sometimes too.

The Small Things

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For those of you that don’t know, I have struggled with depression and anxiety for a large portion of my life. Often times because of this I have a hard time finding joy in day to day things.

Today however, I’m watching my youngest play with his sisters puzzle she left out and for some reason I feel joy watching him…

How he’s just contently standing there not making a sound as he takes the puzzle pieces and places them in their box while taking moments to glance at the movie playing on the T.V… Seemingly letting the world around him fade. Likely not even understanding the point of the puzzle or why he felt the need to pick it up. He’s just doing it and being happy while he does it.

I miss being that young and finding joy in everything around me. Its so much easier finding the joy in the small things when your a kid. The whole world seems magical to you and full of wonder. There’s boxes that magically turn into castles and strings that turn into snakes. Before you know it you a princess to a lost world standing on a massive mountain side with amazing creatures all around you.

I remember playing with my friends at school imagining that we had all these horses and rode them around during recess. They all had different colors and personalities and became a large part of our day to day activities. While being imaginary it was almost like we could all see them. The amount of freedom and joy these imaginary horses gave us was incredible.

Now here I sit as an adult watching my children play and unable to understand the joy they’re getting from such every day things. Realizing that somewhere along the way the world has lost its magic to me. Magic that my kids clearly have access to and I’m left wondering what the world is creating for them while they run around with a box and some string.

Why is it that when we become adults we lose the ability to find joy in such simple ways?  Why is it ,as a person with depression, that joy seems to take so much more effort and energy to find? Maybe we’re looking but not truely seeing. Maybe as we get older and have more responsibilities we slowly lose the ability to see the joy and magic of the world the way our kids can…

I wish as a child I would have realized what a gift it was to be able to find joy so easily and allowed myself to slow down and enjoy it a bit more.

But here, this morning, I’m able to find joy watching my child as he experiences the magic of the world as I once did. Right now thats enough for me. It’s these small moments that I often overlook that tend to bring the most joy when I step back and truely see it. I don’t need to experience the magic of the world the way I used to to be able to see the joy in it the way my kids do.

Take a moment to step back and allow yourself to experience the joy around you. If you struggle with depression, take a moment to breath and remind yourself of the joy you once found as a child, maybe that will be just enough to help you see through the fog and experience it again with your child. It may not always be enough but I’ll take it in the moments that it is.

See the small but wonderful things as often as you can because that is where you’ll find joy.

Boys Will Be Boys

We all have times where our kids embarass the ever living daylight out of us. As a parent it’s just something you come to anticipate. You can’t really prepare for it but you can just learn to expect the unexpected.

Here is one of my more mortifying moments as a mom. I hope you find as much humor in it as I have over the years.

A little back story: I met my Husband in 2014 and got married a couple months later. After we got married we (myself, my husband, and my 2 kids) moved into a trailer on my in-laws property.

Now my husbands family is Mormon, as such we always had visitors from the curch or the missionaries over. I wasn’t a member of the church when we met so the missionaries were extremely helpful in my education and understanding of the church.

So now down to this particular mortifying moment….

It happened during one of the many visits we had with the missionaries.

Our trailer was pretty cramped with all 4 of us living in it so when we met with the missionaries we usually sat ouside on the porch when the weather was nice.

My husband and I are on the porch talking with the missionaries while the kids are playing. My oldest, who was 3 at the time, decided he was going to come out and say hi to the missionaries.

Alright, cool thats perfectly ok. He loves talking with them and had never done anything alarming or unexpected before.

So my son says hi and continues playing while we go back to our conversation with the missionaries.

While I’m talking with the missionaries I notice my son standing just a few feet away from them, facing a tree….

Now it took me a few seconds to piece together what he was doing. By the time I figured it out the missionaries had seen the look on my face and i tried to tell them not to look but I was too late…

My son was PEEING on the tree! Just a couple feet away from the SISTER missionaries and only a few feet more from access to a toilet. He had no second thoughts, no hesitation, and gave no warning. Just unzipped and went…

I’m sure my face had gone bright red as I struggled between embarassment, apologizing, laughing, and telling my son he needed to use the bathroom inside.

In the end the missionaries laughed about it, understanding he had just been potty trained and lived in the country. But to this day it’s still one of my more embarrassing moments as a parent.

I guess the moral of this story is when potty training expect to get embarrassed and know you aren’t alone. I’m sure there are many of you with similar stories and experiences. Kids will be kids, sometimes at the expense of their parents, but those times are also some of the funniest.

Remember to take time and find the humor in things even when your mortified. One day they’ll have their own kids and come to you with their own mortifying moment and you’ll be able to tell them all about how they did the same to you as a kid. Even if you cant find the humor in the moment, looking back on it will likely make you laugh later.

The Day The World Changed

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Ok moms, can we just take a minute?

I feel like we get so caught up in the many demands of our everyday life that we forget to just take a minute for ourselves. In this minute I would like you to think back on the day you first became a mom. The day when your whole world changed along with your understanding of the world. This day is an incredible, awesome, and often times overwhelming day; it’s also a day worthwhile to look back on from time to time… especially on days that seem overwhelming and stressful.

Do you remember what it felt like the first time you held your baby?

My first was born a little over 11 years ago and I still remember what it felt like to have him laid on my chest for the first time. I remember how warm he felt, probably due to my body getting shocky during my labor. He felt so incredibly warm and it was a warmth that was so relaxing and comforting. He had finally made it! Over 24 hours of labor and my little man was finally here! His warmth told me i could relax now, he was here, he was safe, and he was healthy.

Do you remember what it was like hearing your baby cry for the first time?

For me, hearing my baby cry for the first time was so comforting, as I imagine it was for most of you. Along with the comfort it brought me I was surprised by just how protective over him it made me. It wasnt something that came with time while I adjusted to being a new mom… all of a sudden it was just there. Even though I knew the nurses where there to help and do their job, and that his cries weren’t because he was being hurt… the instinct to protect him was so overwhelming. He was so little and fragile, how could I not feel protective?

Yet that sweet, beautiful little cry also tells you that they are breathing and that you have successfully brought a new life into this world. The cry that reaches into your soul changes you. It demands you to become better, do better, and be better than you were at any other point in your life. Who you were before is replaced by the understanding of who you need to be, all brought forth by that one precious cry.

The moment I became a mom.

This incredible day changed me in far more ways than I ever expected. I now lived for a life outside of my own. I was now responsible for a life thats survival was dependent upon me. I knew this going into the pregnancy… so why did it seem to carry so much more meaning now? Was it because I was so young? Maybe it’s because I couldn’t fully grasp its meaning until I became a mom. You know when your pregnant that having a baby is going to chnage your life and that it’s your job to care for and raise this baby… but I dont think the depth of that really hits until you see your baby for the first time.

I like to look back on this day often, especially on the harder days that seem to demand so much more from me than I feel capable of. This is the day that showed me my strength. This is the day that I learned that I can handle the hard things. Not only can I handle the hard things but the hard things often lead to something amazing that I couldn’t have fully understood or appreciated without them.

This day teaches us so much about who we are and what we can accomplish. On days when you feel defeated, broken, lost, weak, or less than… take a moment to look back at the magnitude of this day. Let it remind you of how strong, courageous, and incredible you are. You are a MOM! You are a force to be reckoned with! You are capable of handling the hard things! So get up off the ground, straighten your crown and let the world hear you ROAR!

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A Morning Reflection

I wrote this back in December 2021 and shared it on my personal facebook page. I felt that it was important to share as my first blog post because every mom has a moment where they could use this reminder. They wont stay little for long, take the time to enjoy it while you can.

So this morning I’m laying on my couch with my son thinking about all the things i NEED to get done today and feeling extremely overwhelmed and like nothing i do is really that important or makes much of a difference…. something im sure all of you can relate to at one point in time or another.

Then I realize….

Im not just laying on the couch, I am spending time with my son! THIS MATTERS! THIS IS IMPORTANT! Look at his face, how happy he is to just spend some time with mom.

We as mothers tend to feel like we could be doing more, we could be better at taking care of the house or that we should be more like those perfect pinterest moms we see. Our days are often filled with the same household tasks on repeat. That often for me feels like what i do get done around the house doesnt matter or isnt important because I’ll just have to do it again in another hour or two. Its relentless, tiring, and often times underappreciated or unnoticed.

Then while thinking about all of this I realized I’m not paying enough attention to the things I DO during the day that really matters, spending time with my children! Im not saying that the house not looking like a train wreck isnt important. What i am saying is when our kids look back on their childhood are they going to care about how immaculate their mother kept the house or are they going to care about the times when they spent time with her?

Even when you feel like your doing nothing, if all your doing at that moment is sitting on the couch watching a movie with you kid… that is SOMETHING to them. That is a memory they are making with you! That is sooo much more important than that load of laundry needing to be folded or that load of dishes needing to be started. Sometimes we put so much pressure on ourselves to get things done that we dont give ourselves enough credit for the other equally important things we are doing.

Right now I am making a memory with my son, that load of laundry, that load of dishes, or that floor needing mopped CAN wait. ✌❤

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